So my coworker, who is normally in the back kitchen making lunches and only occasionally comes out to the front when I’m getting swamped by customers, has had her septum pierced for awhile, but the other night she got the bridge of her nose pierced. Honestly, yes they’re noticeable, but she’s got tiny pieces in so they’re fairly unobtrusive. Not that that should matter anyway, just laying down some details for you.
So now that you understand more about her face; an elderly lady came in today and ordered a sandwich, which my coworker made in the back, and I took the order and helped the lady and we talked about cheese, because that’s what I do. She was there for awhile eating and my coworker comes out to help me clean up a bit. It’s at this point the elderly lady came up to pay, so my coworker sat down and rang her up, asking how everything was.
This lady says: “Well the sandwich was fine but listen, young lady, all that metal in your face is really unappealing. I dont care what you do in the privacy of your own home but you cant just go out in public like that. And I want you to know that it really makes me not want to come back here”.
We were both just stunned into the silence. Then I kind of collected my thoughts and said: “I’m really sorry you think that way”, but it was said to her back because she was trying to shuffle as fast as her old legs could carry her at that point.
I couldnt even yell, I was so angry I could only whisper: “where does she fucking get off talking to you like that?”. My coworker actually had to calm me down, saying: “Look, I know that walking around with piercings and visible tattoos is gonna get comments. It’s not worth getting angry over, I’m used to it”.
"But you shouldnt *be* used to it", I replied. And I’ve been heated ever since. I know she was trying to play it cool but it was obvious to me it still stung her a bit. And then I started thinking about the several different dudes we’ve had working for us over the years, including one with us right now, who have visible tats or full-on sleeves showing, that no one ever once complained about or felt the need to make a shitty remark.
It’s like, okay, you’re a bad person with bad opinions, fine keep it to yourself. But to actually just say it to somebody’s face like that? No fucking thank you, we’re actually gonna be much better off without your business, lady. You probably dont have much time left on this Earth anyway, so I wont be losing sleep over it.
But that even brings me to another point: life is too goddamn short and it is way too much goddamn work to hate on people or be intolerant. You can take this argument and apply it across the vast spectrum of things that have absolutely zero ramifications on others, yet for some reason are, I dont even fucking know… so distracting they fill people with this violent need to vomit out their miserable hate all over you. Look, it’s really unfortunate, I know, that life is so varied and diverse and nuanced but some people really need to start wrapping their decrepit lizard brains around the fact that not everything different is dangerous. That people getting their kicks in different ways than you is not an indication of any kind of depravity on their part, it actually means YOU need to figure out why you cant be accepting of other people finding joy in life.
Being cool with people is easy. Taking the time and effort to hate them is hard.